Gift Of Running Shoes – Writing Sample

Dear Friends and Family,

Sorry you didn’t get a Christmas card from us this year. We were going to send one. We had the cards all ready to go and even had a blog friend help us out with the editing of the picture . . . and then it just sort of . . . didn’t happen. While we all know the reason is just plain old laziness, if I told you we were going green, would you believe me? No? It’s the fact that I still use paper towels and paper toilet paper, huh?

There have been a few wrenches thrown into the works of our year, such as my Dad and Step-mother’s thinking they are allowed to get divorced and my Mom and her husband’s thinking they should stay married (I kid. Seriously) but overall we are happy and healthy and that’s all we could ask for. Well not ALL I could ask for, just all I feel comfortable admitting I’ll ask for. (Running Shoes, I ask for expensive running SHOES! And that the Buckeye’s can beat Texas. Neither thing I will get but it doesn’t mean I won’t ASK!)

Gives my environment hating butt away EVERY TIME!

This has been a fun and exciting year in the Murphy household. Or just a normal boring one, I guess it depends on your definition of fun and excitement. We worked a lot, played some and (wait for it) still aren’t having a baby. (I know, you’re shocked. We’re getting so OLD, right? We might as well start looking for alternatives NOW. I mean my eggs must have dried up YEARS ago!) I just killed a supposedly un-killable species of house plant so I am seriously in doubt regarding my ability to keep something that bleeds when it falls over alive. We’re getting our first niece, so that should count for something, right?

Matt is still working for the ever evil Homeowners Association Management Company, helping waste budget away your monthly dues (if you live in a dues paying community, of course)on frivolous things like street lights, community landscaping road pavement and security. Despite the housing market crisis, his company seems to be rolling in money but have used the excuse of the bad economy to put a raise freeze on their little world. Ahh the joys of corporate jobs.

My job continues . . . so far my four (almost five) years of working here have included; Twelve boxes of Diet Coke syrup ingested, eleven RFP’s completed, ten different laptops, nine system crashes, eight rounds of funding, seven corporate layoffs, six marketing directors, five different cubies, four CEO’s, three titles and counting, two nervous break-downs and a patridge in a freaking pear tree. I’ve made it through all of that so bring on 2009, beotches.

Our annual vacation this year took us to the Far East, specifically China. We learned many things there, but some of the most life changing were things like how to best stab a won-ton with your chopsticks, the appropriate way to shoot a snot-rocket onto the street, the feminine way to hock a loogie, why to always carry an “f-ing handkerchief”, how to piss off your hired tour guide so she refuses to come back and MOST important, how to turn left into speeding, oncoming traffic and not die.

Christmas this year will find us in rainy Southern California with my Grandparents, Mom and brothers and sisters. This is the first time they will all be together in quite a long time, so we’re excited (and scared). There’s sure to be hilarity and drama all mixed into one big bowl of fun. My family isn’t exactly known for our mellow holiday celebrations. Hopefully everyone will go home with their spleen intact and no trips to the hospital. (Mental or otherwise)

This year for my birthday and New Year’s Eve we’re throwing a little party at our house. I’m inviting several people from church so I’ve already begun working on substituting words like “s**t” with “oh darn.” Seriously. There’s a reason I don’t often invite church people over. I’m preparing myself now for the “sorry I offended you by saying the f-word while getting my a**, er BUTT, kicked playing Wii Tennis” talk now. Pray for me. (Hmm, I smell irony there. Hahah) I blame my father.

So, while I’m hoping for a prosperous, cussing free New Year, I’m also hoping that all of you will get exactly what YOU want.

All my love (and randomness)